I like drinking tea alone

I like drinking tea alone, and reading alone.
I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone.
It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.
I like eating alone, and listening to music alone.
But when I see a mother with her child;
A girl with her lover;
Or a friend laughing with their best friend;
I realize that even though I like being alone
I don’t fancy being lonely.

-- One of the most reblogged posts on tumblr
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I don’t do goodbyes

I don’t do goodbyes. When I see someone and we part ways, I’m tempted to call them later and continue like there was no pause. If I’m sending someone messages, “goodbye” means the letter has ended and it’s time for the post-script. When I say “goodnight”, it means “I know I’m supposed to not talk to you now, but I’m going to think about you for hours after this.” It’s tentative. Part of me will always hope that you can’t sleep, and maybe that’s because I know I could never sleep thinking this much about you. Maybe I want that unrest, that unshakeable sense of incompletion to tug at you as much as it does me. I don’t do goodbyes because I don’t know when I’ll see you again, when your last parting words will stop running through my head, when I’ll be done with you. I don’t do goodbyes because I can never find it in me to be done with you.”

— Cindersontheskyline

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Do not fall in love With people like me.

I came across this poem around a year back, and am in love with each word of it. 

Its dark but I love it!

Do not fall in love
With people like me.
people like me
will love you so hard
that you turn into stone
into a statue where people
 come to marvel at how long
it must have taken to carve
that faraway look into your eyes

Do not fall in love with people like me
we will take you to
museums and parks
and monuments
 and kiss you in every beautiful
 place so that you can
never go back to them
without tasting us
like blood in your mouth

Do not come any closer.
people like me
are bombs
when our time is up
 we will splatter loss
 all over your walls
in angry colors
that make you wish
your doorway never
learned our name

do not fall in love
with people like me.
with the lonely ones
we will forget our own names
if it means learning yours
we will make you think
 hurricanes are gentle
 that pain is a gift
you will get lost
in the desperation
in the longing for something
that is always reaching
but never able to hold

do not fall in love
with people like me.
we will destroy your
apartment
 we will throw apologies at you
 that shatter on the floor
and cut your feet

we will never learn
how to be soft

we will leave.
we always do.

-Caitlyn Siehl 
via (alonesomes.tumblr.com)

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प्यार का पहला खत लिखने में वक़्त तो लगता है

प्यार का पहला खत लिखने में वक़्त तो लगता है
नये परिंदो को उड़ने में वक़्त तो लगता है

जिस्म की बात नही थी उनके दिल तक जाना था
लंबी दूरी तय करने में वक़्त तो लगता है

गाँठ अगर लग जाये तो फिर रिश्ते हो या डोरी
लाख करे कोशिश खुलने में वक़्त तो लगता है

हमने इलाज-ए-जख्म-ए-दिल तो ढूँढ लिया लेकिन
गहरे ज़ख़्मो को भरने में वक़्त तो लगता है

- JAGJIT SINGH

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I wonder ...

I wonder what it’s like being 28 and waking up knowing you’re going to ask her to marry you tonight.

I wonder what it’s like being 30 and waking up to her gone for the week on a work trip and having the entire bed to yourself for the first time in ages so you starfish the fuck out of it, but somehow drift over to their side because you already miss them.

I wonder what it’s like being 42 and waking up for work content that the same pair of tired eyes as yesterday, and the day before that, and for the past 13 years, still look at you like you have the ability to reverse time and stop the sun from rising any higher, then you could both stay in bed. You blink, smile, and kiss her forehead softly as a reply, silently acknowledging your shared distaste for mornings, but not apologizing for wanting to wake up to those eyes again tomorrow.

I wonder what it’s like being 49 and waking up beside someone who still makes you nervous when they look at you that close up in the morning, especially now that you’re nearing 50 and fully aware of the wrinkles you have and the ones on the way.

I wonder what it’s like being 61 and waking up at 2pm because you were too sore and sickly to get out of bed that morning, but when you hear her key in the door after coming back from the store with some medicine, your favourite soup and a kiss, it still makes your heart beat fast enough to propel you off the bed and into her healing arms.

I wonder what it’s like being 87 and waking up next to an undisturbed pillow and an unwrinkled half of a quilt because she died 2 years ago, peacefully in her sleep. It was just her time to go.

I wonder what it’s like to live life in that much love. And when you do, I wonder what it’s like to lose it to something as trivial as your body passing through time. It’s heartbreaking that the body can’t last as long as the love between two people. But it’s also kind of beautiful that love transcends physical nature. All we can do is experience it while it’s here and while it lasts.

- A lasting love. 

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मुझको इतने से काम पे रख लो...

मुझको इतने से काम पे रख लो...
जब भी सीने पे झूलता लॉकेट 
उल्टा हो जाए तो मैं हाथों से
सीधा करता रहूँ उसको
मुझको इतने से काम पे रख लो...
जब भी आवेज़ा उलझे बालों में
मुस्कुराके बस इतना सा कह दो 
आह चुभता है ये अलग कर दो
मुझको इतने से काम पे रख लो....
जब ग़रारे में पाँव फँस जाए
या दुपट्टा किवाड़ में अटके
एक नज़र देख लो तो काफ़ी है
मुझको इतने से काम पे रख लो...

- Gulzar

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Rockstar

Rockstar, a photo by sharmacal on Flickr.

Roommates

Roommates, a photo by sharmacal on Flickr.

Durga Puja, Kolkata

Durga Puja, Kolkata, a photo by sharmacal on Flickr.

Lights @Diwali

Lights @Diwali, a photo by sharmacal on Flickr.

Diwali Celebrations

Roommates

Roommates, a photo by sharmacal on Flickr.

Angel fishes in my newly setup aquarium

Then I stopped.

Even though sometimes the world seems about six sizes too small for our pain, the amazing shit is that no matter how deep purple the bruise is, no matter how dark and overwhelming and miserable and worthless it all seems the world will get a fraction of an inch bigger every day.

Really, every fucking day.

And you won’t notice it for a long time until suddenly, one day, it’s only five times too small for your pain and then four and then the world will just keep getting larger and larger in comparison to your shattered heart and eventually it will be able to hold it and then it will outgrow it.

And your pain will be just a speck in your world.

The world is supposed to feel as though it is ending and you are supposed to know only in the most dormant recesses of the backmost corner of your soul that it will not be like this forever.

That is what you are supposed to think.

Then I stopped.

Then I started again and stopped again and started again and then stopped for good…

… I promise you will survive, and with more grace than you can now imagine and that you will have more grit and vision because of it.

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सब बेमतलब

हमने अपने हिस्से का प्यार भी किया है

और

लिखी हैं 

उनके हिस्से की कविताएँ

देखे हैं 

खुली आँखों से उनके ख़याल

और

बंद आँखों में उनका होना

वो सारे शब्द

जो मेरे वजूद का 

विस्तार थे उनके लिए

सुना है उनका 

उनके लिए बेमतलब हो जाना

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..दिल के टूटने के बाद

read it somewhere ... :))

किलो हरी मिर्च खा लो दिल के टूटने के बाद
सर्दी में तालाब में नहा लो दिल के टूटने के बाद

कोइ नही आयेगा याद खुद को सम्भालते पाओगे
पहलवान से पिटाई करवा लो दिल के टूटने के बाद

सारा ही भूत उतार देगा पुजारी तुम्हारे इश्क का
मन्दिर में से जूते उठा लो दिल के टूटने के बाद

तुम ग़मगीन गजल सुनोगे तो दुःख ही पाओगे
हनुमान के भजन गा लो दिल के टूटने के बाद

दर्द महोब्बत वाला दर्द छू मन्त्र हो जायेगा
किसी बच्चे पे कठवा लो दिल के टूटने के बाद

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Ek ghazal tere liye zaroor likhunga

Ek ghazal tere liye zaroor likhunga.
Be hisaab usmein, tera qusoor likhunga.
Tu guftaar ka maahir, tu qirdaar ka maahir.
Par husn ko tere, tera ghuroor likhunga.
Tooth gaye bachpan ke tere saare khilone.
Ab dilon se khelna, tera dastoor likhunga.
Raha ishq ka daava, tujhe tamaam umr.
Wafa ki dehleez se tujhe, mafroor likhunga.
Khud sakta jo hai, tera judaai ka faisla.
Aise har iqdaam ko na manzoor likhunga.
Humein kehne ki aadat nahi, likhne ka shauq hai.
Jazbon ko apne, qalam ki taseer likhunga.
Tera wajood, mera wajood, mujhe ek sa lage.
Par tujhe main khudse bohat door likhunga.
Ek ghazal tere liye zaroor likhunga.
Be hisaab usmein, tera qasoor likhunga.

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DOST

Dil pe zakhmo ke nishaan gehre laga gaya...

Wo dost tha magar humse dushmani nibha gaya..

Khawabon ke siwa shayad...

Kuch bhi na sochte hum...

Wo jate jate apni haqiqat jata gaya...

Bekasoor hona bhi ek jurm hi tha humara...

Gunah karke khud mujhe mujrim bana gaya...

Aansuon ko apne kis kis se chupayein....

Umar bhar rone ka sabab bana gaya...

Chot khaakar bhi jise sambhalte rahe hum...

Apne naam ki khatir meri.. 'DOSTI' mita gaya...

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बस तुम्हे नहीं भूल पाती ...

ज़रूरी काम है, लेकिन रोज़ाना भुल जाती हूँ |
मुझे तुम से मोहब्बत है, बताना भुल जाती हूँ ||

तेरी गलियो मे फिरना इतना अच्छा लगता है |
मै रास्ता याद रखती हूँ, ठिकाना भुल जाती हूँ ||

शरारत ले के आंखो मे वो तेरा देखना तौबा |
मै तेरी नज़रो पे जमी नज़रे झुकाना भुल जाती हूँ ||

मोहब्बत कब हुई, कैसे हुई, सब याद है मुझको |
मै कर के मोहब्बत को भुलाना भुल जाती हूँ ||


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एक दफ़ा यूं ही.....

एक दफ़ा यूं ही.....

राह में चलते चलते मैने उसका हांथ अपने हांथो मे लिया !

तो वो मुस्कुरा दिया !

उसने कहा..... "तुम्हारे हांथ किस कदर गरम हैं और गरम हांथ वफ़ा की निशानी होते हैं"
मैं इस बात पर इस कदर ख़ुश हुई की सब कुछ भूल गयी !

मगर बरसो बाद आज इस बात का एहसास हूआ की उसके हांथ
.
.
किस कदर ठंडे थे ।!

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For you.. my friend...

Bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai

Aaj har wo din jeene ko man karta hai.

Kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain

Kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain.

Abki baar class attend karne ka mann karta hai

Dopahar ki class mein aakhein band karne ko mann karta hai.

Doston ke room ki wo baatein yaad aati hai

Exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak yaad aati hai,

College ke paas ke dhabe ki yaad aati hai

Tab ki bekar lagne wali photos chehre pe hasi laati hai.

Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai.

Par tumhari galti dekhne ka ab bhi mann karta hai.

Ek aisi subah uthne ka mann karta hai

Bas ek bar aur wapas lautne ka mann karta hai....

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काश हम समझ लेते

काश हम समझ लेते ,
मंजिलों की चाहत में ,
रास्ता बदल लेने से ,
फासला नहीं घटता |

दो घड़ी की कुर्बत में ,
चार पल की चाहत में ,
लोग लोग रहते है ,
काफिला नहीं बनता |

हाथ में दिये लेकर ,
होंठ पे दुआ लेकर ,
मंजिलों की जानिब को ,
चल भी दें तो क्या होगा ?

ख्वाहिशों के जंगल में ,
इतनी भीड़ होती है ,
कि उम्र के इस सफ़र में ,
रास्ता नहीं मिलता |
हमसफ़र नहीं मिलता ,
शायद कुछ नहीं मिलता ||

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